Choose Goals That Scare You
Because comfort won’t change you—but the right kind of fear will.
Comfort never changed anyone. That’s why I choose goals that scare me.
I run to show my two daughters what’s possible when you put your head down and take the next step.
Because forward motion beats fear.
It’s not about finish times or arbitrary numbers. It’s about going beyond what feels comfortable, proving that grit and perseverance matter more than talent or luck. Every mile is a lesson in resilience—not just for me, but for them.
This year, my running calendar reflects that mindset:
Support Phase (Jan–March): My wife is training for the Cape Town Cycle Tour (109km), and I’m matching the gees (spirit) she showed me during my marathon prep. At the same time, I’m rebuilding my base fitness—injury prevention, slow and steady.
April: The Silliness. A 24-hour relay race with gym friends—how many 5km laps can we rack up? It’s ridiculous. It’s unnecessary. It’s perfect.
May: The First Big Test. Mountain Ultra Trail (UTMB World Series).
58km and 3000m+ of brutal, beautiful African terrain. A test of distance. A test of the “traveling trail running family” concept—bringing my kids along for the adventure.November: The BEEEG One. A 100km monster around the Cape Peninsula, ranked among the toughest races on Earth. I’ll only enter if May’s race goes well—and if my wife gives me the green light. I’m equally inspired and terrified.
I don’t run to be faster.
Faster feels fleeting.
Further feels eternal.
Choosing further over faster means embracing the struggle, learning to relish it. It’s about doing hard things because you want to, not because life forced them on you. And growing because of it.
I want to endure.
As one rock-hard 50+ runner put it:
"The next time some work shit comes around, I’m like—please. Do you know what I’ve done?"
And she’s conquered 300km of brutal terrain, crossing shark-infested rivers to the finish line, finishing fourth after getting lost for 28 extra kilometres.
Inspiration gets me started. Fear keeps me sharp.
But forward motion beats fear every time.
And that’s exactly what I want my daughters to see.
Yes, I've been setting scary income goals, too! As well as business goals. I want to not only make enough money to support myself in Toronto without my parents' help. I also want to make enough to support a partner and also my aging parents... I'll have to make 6 figures for that to happen LOL. Right now I don't even make mid 5 figures... Still relying on my parents' help. The high business expenses are hard too. But one step at a time. So that sounds super ambitious.
Also I want to find a queerplatonic partner. It's too bad my current crush said no (due to long distance). But I feel a bit more confident after that. It's hard since not that many people are looking for that. But I heard the tip about just explaining what you want to people at the start. I also have a bit of skill and strategy when it comes to using dating apps, so I won't be totally lost in the woods.
Sure, dating apps are scary. But meeting people irl first is even scarier lol. I've experienced quite a lot of BS on the apps already, so I know what to expect, and I am more confident about navigating those forests by now. I have never had a partner in my life. Queerplatonic or otherwise. But that doesn't mean I can't. Definitely a frightening goal but I think it's doable. I just need to keep going and not give up. And keep reflecting on and learning from my mistakes along the way.
I think the trick of it, is to make sure you choose goals that are completely or nearly so, in your power to achieve.
Income and partners aren't always up to us, at least not fully. But checking in with your clients regularly is, for my wife that keeps her top of mind, and they book more sessions. For me I can stick to my running plan and at the end of it I'll probably be fit enough.
You have to put the work in, but again it needs to the kind of problem effort can solve.